Day 43 – Home Inspection today. Awaiting the onslaught of people.
We have these neighbors… And when we move… I won’t miss them. You see, they are old and crotchety and are the kind of people who get into everyones business and one day, they got into mine.
One sunny day I was taking my life into my hands retrieveing the mail when a car, instead of speeding past at 50 mph, actually slowed down and stopped in front of me. It was an older couple. He was driving. She leaned out her window and said to me, “We live up the road and I was just wondering when you were going to get around to mowing your side lawn?”.. Our house is a corner lot and one side of the yard is a steep 10-15 foot incline. It is mowable and my husband has done it several times. It is however too steep for a ride-a-mower. He has to use the push kind so he doesn’t mow it as much as the rest of the lawn because it is basically a time consuming pain in the ass.
So, I kindly said to her… “Well, we have been busy and are planning to get to it” She said to me in return “And what’s with the…” she rolled her wrist, pointing her figure while, I could only guess, gesturing to our new fence. “Do you have dogs?” she continued… “No, (now I’m starting to get aggravated) but I have kids and I don’t want them chasing a ball onto a busy road” I replied. She nodded and they drove off. After I told my husband he said to me, “Did you get their name?” Well, I hadn’t thought of it… As a matter of fact they did not introduce themselves. Well, my husband was pretty pissed off. So we decided to do what anyone in that situation would do… Never mow that part of the lawn again.
A few weeks went by when we found an anonymous letter in our mailbox. Asking us to please take care of our property and if we needed a lawn crew one could be recommended. Recommended? By whom? Who will recommend someone, the note was anonymous. This pissed us off even more, so my husband mowed… a wavy pattern into our now 8″ long grass. My son was hoping to aid in our recent departure into the Hatfield-McCoy face off by offering to head out to the side lawn late at night with some fluorescent spray pant to “jazz up” the remaining tall grass. We didn’t want him to become a vandal in training. But, hey, he was thinking!
A few more weeks went by and our side hill was looking pretty desperate. Brown, ratty, kind of all over the place. The rest of our lawn however… immaculate! It was a beautiful day in June and we were celebrating my sons 10th birthday with a Survivor themed pool party, complete with all the challenges. As we were wrapping everything up and the kids parents were showing up to pick up their children, that woman pulled into our driveway and blocked it completely. She proceeded to get out of the car and wave her finger at my husband. “This is an upperclass neighborhood” she said to him… “your trees are dying, you need to mow your lawn, just who do you think you are?” (who did we think we were?… Who the hell does she think she is?) My husband replied to her in a calm voice. Holding out his hand he said…” Hello my name is… and you are?” Over and over he asked her name and she just kept waving her finger in his face and criticizing his skills at lawn care. Our guests could not leave! They were trapped by a raving lunatic of a woman. My husband chased her back to her car where she finally got back in, but did not leave, just proceeded to make a phone call. OK, time for the tough language. A few necessary words were uttered by my husband including ‘trespassing’.
Wow, did she really think she was going to get our lawn mowed this way? Seriously?
Later that week my husband went out to get the mail when the same car pulled up… this time her husband. What was it with these people and our mailbox? Oh, did they exchange some heated words. Still, no name. WTF?
Well, about a year past since that encounter. We had forgotten all about them, went about our lives, even started mowing the side lawn again (it was looking pretty bad). But things never change. We got busy with work, weekends were busy with kids activities and therefore the side lawn suffered neglect once again. The one Saturday my husband could find the time to get out there and mow we found yet another note in our mailbox, this time stating maybe the neighbors could take up a collection so we could pay someone to mow our lawn, again anonymous. Seriously? My husband, furious, decided to let it slide and went to mow the lawn anyway. He didn’t see the point in letting the lawn go another year just to spite these idiots. As he was mowing away, that man pulled up beside him and slowed down. As my husband pushed the lawn mower forward 5 ft. then back 5 ft. while the neighbor proceeded to follow him in his car… pulling up 5 ft, then backing up 5 ft. all the while yelling out the window of his car at him. More heated words were exchanged. That was it! We were done with this adolescent crap! Did we really have to put up with these crass and uncouth people the rest of the time we live here? We did what any other civilized individual would do when confronted by blatant harassment… Called the cops! Oooo what the gossip in the neighborhood must have been when that policeman showed up on their doorstep.
We still get the evil eye when they drive by, but since the long arm of the law knocked on their door no more mailbox abuse.
Once we move, we won’t miss those neighbors, that’s for sure!
